Letter 81

24 April 2016

Dear C,

How is everything? London marathon took place today, I bet there was proper chaos in the city - as usual. You know that for the last 8 years I have been always working during that day and I absolutely hated it. Especially in my last place. Everybody panicked the entire day - especially all these "stars" at the front desk with Jo leading the way.

I must say that when I look at all these women in high heels from my workplace I feel sorry for them. Malcolm managed to trap them into thinking that the more time they spend at work "looking after" their teams the better. So all those girls spend 12-16 hrs a day at work!

How stupid is this? That is completely opposite to what good management is. But my last workplace is run by an idiot and a bully. What can you expect? Luckily I opened my eyes quickly - I did my part and went home. All of this bullshit "working as a team" is a trap to make you work overtime with no pay. If people could only wake up...

They must have hated me for respecting myself and my time - but to be honest I do not give one single flying fuck. And I am so pleased I did it my way. If I died in the office they would quickly remove my body and in a week time, nobody would remember who I was. Well. you know all of that, you always told me to look for a different job just in case and I knew you were right. The only people I truly connected there are Lucia, Tanja from HR and Andrew (although he can be a real dick too sometimes).

As it is Sunday today, I woke up a bit later than usual - 8 am. I must say I felt tired all day today. You know, Sunday is the only day in a week when I do not work out. I wanted to meet up with Geoff on the yard this morning, but I had to let it slip as I have been having bellyaches all day (even now when I am writing this letter to you). I am not really sure what caused it - I might have eaten something or it's just the side effect of exercising.

Well, anyway - today I just kept thinking of you. I wish I could stop this, but I can't.

Oh wait! My favourite song just came on the radio - Alan Walker's "Faded". I love this tune so much! I am really going to download his music once I'm out of here.

Back to missing you. I guess my bellyache caused me to feel that way. The memories of how we used to look after each other came back to me with a double impact now.

Do you remember the day when you had your Argos training in Benton? It was the whole day event and you finished it around 7 pm. You had no money to return home so you called me and asked if I could help you out. That was before we started living together - I was still living in Wimbledon. I felt so sorry for you being stuck so far away that I immediately jumped into the tube to Tower Bridge and then I took the dockland railway to Benton. I remember the sunset over London and overwhelming sensation in my heart that I am coming to rescue my man.

And there you were - sitting on a bench listening to music. I brought you a warm jacket, sandwiches and drinks because I knew you would be cold, hungry and thirsty. I was so happy. When you came to my place I made you a hot bubble bath so you could rest. I remember feeling like I was complete that day because I was with you. I was so in love.

And the next day we spent at home fooling around. You ate almost the entire chocolate cake for breakfast. Do you remember the song we played that day over and over again? I do! It was Moby's "Perfect Life". And we did indeed have a little chocolate piece of a perfect life back then together. We played Wii games. Everything was almost perfect. We laughed so much.

Even now, when all these images are rolling in front of my eyes I cannot help but smile. Even though my heart is bleeding inside, my lips smile. I am pretty sure you don't remember much of this and you successfully erased all this from your memory.

It is now 10.50 pm and I think I'm gonna try to fall asleep and end the weekend here. Gym in the morning tomorrow.

C, be well. Be safe and looked after. I hope you are anyway. I can't be a part of taking care of you anymore, but I hope somebody else is.

Forever yours,

Sebastian.