Letter 46

27 December 2015

Dear C,

So Here I am - officially 40 from yesterday.

David surprised me yesterday - the moments the guard unlocked my cell, David jumped in singing happy birthday! It was so embarrassing! I was half asleep and not really sure what was going on. He gave me a birthday card and a lot of people signed it wishing me a good day... It was bizarre but nice at the same time.

Then throughout the day, I had people coming to my cell wishing me a happy birthday... Weird. Tony came right after David, it was nice talking to him - as usual. He is an Irish guy, really cool and collective.

George (the Spanish guy) made number 40 out of the matchsticks for me. How nice. A lot of people buy matchsticks here and they make things - to kill time.

And in the afternoon David brought me a "homemade" cake - kind of cheesecake with some jelly on top. It was delicious. I have no idea how he made it and if it was legal to make it - but I didn't care. He shared that cake with me, Jose and Martin. And you know what...? Just for a moment, I forgot where I was. It was so wonderful.

But then of course in all this joy I couldn't stop thinking about you. I never got any card from you. Then I hoped that maybe you would just email me. But you never did. And that's ok. I have to accept this.

I got an e-mail from Lisa wishing me a happy Christmas. She promised she would come to see me after New Year’s. I cannot wait. She has been promising to see me for a few months now, but I trust her so much and I know she will not leave me here.

Her boyfriend Jay is out of a deportation centre in London. I think he got caught by the home office and he had no valid visa to stay in the UK any longer. He is from Nigeria. I remember when we still worked together, she supported that guy financially when he was still held in that deportation centre and he visited him many times there. I hope they will work out together. She definitely loves him and I only hope he is not another scammer here who just wants to be with a white British woman he can marry to receive British citizenship.

I do have a bad feeling about him, but I hope I am very wrong. Lisa even told me that I would be coming to her wedding there in Nigeria! Imagine that! I don’t even know where that country is in Africa.

I called my mum at 3 pm yesterday - the time I was born (more or less) 40 years ago. She wished me a happy birthday, but It was the saddest happy birthday ever. I so wanted to hug her. I hope soon I will.

How was your festive time? I believe you enjoyed plenty of great food. I still remember your mother's chicken - Chinese style. It was so good.

I hope you are resting a lot C. I am sure you need this.

You know, today I gave 2 of my magic trees paintings to George and David D. David is a guy from Ecuador and he is a wing barber. I incorporated the colours of their countries' flags into the trees.

It looked really nice. Spanish flag for George and Ecuadorian flag for David D. They loved it. And David D immediately asked me to sign it - he said that my art might be worth a lot one day. Funny that! My art will never interest anyone in the outside world. But that's ok.

You know, Jon who lives next door gave me a set of some used watercolour paints and a few used brushes. So now I can paint a little bit in my cell. I sometimes bring some sheets of watercolour paper back to my cell. I love it. Time starts to speed up when I paint. I lose myself in it.

Ok, babe, let me wrap up here.

I love you,

Forever yours,

Sebastian