Letter 18

23 October 2015

Dear C,

This is just a short letter today.

I wasn’t planning on writing to you until Sunday, but I just had that strong need of telling you how much I love you.

And I know that words cannot express how I really feel.

Nothing can.

And I know you don’t care.

Anyway, there is a guy here on my landing, who is attacking me verbally to give him my jumper – the one I got in the parcel from my mother. He is a big, black man and maybe he thinks that I am scared of him. I am so not.

I am not scared of anybody anymore.

Before I let people abuse me because I thought I had to survive all this for you.

Now, I don’t care.

So I told him, that it would never happen, then he asked me how much I wanted for it? Like what? Does he have cash on him?

And even if so, I can’t spend it here.

I got a letter from a guy called Andrew – he works in a prison system and he is my “offender supervisor” – whatever that means. I am supposed to see him on Monday.

Baby, it’s almost midnight now and I’m going to sleep.

I think I have lost some weight you know.

The polo shirt that I used to wear at home started to look like a dress on me now.

I think I am going to set myself a goal to lose a lot of weight here.

Time will tell.

I love you.

Forever Yours

Sebastian